Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Corporate Lessons



Corporate Lesson 1

 A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of  smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."  "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."  Poof! She's gone.  In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an Endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life."  Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."



 Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.



Corporate Lesson 2

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were 
travelling in an autorickshaw. 

They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting 
for this moment at the doorstep of death. 

He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had 
already decided that he should be sent to HELL. 

Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why 
this discrimination is being made. 

All the three of them had served the public. 

Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why 
the differential treatment? 

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation 
before a decision is made; and should not be just based 
on opinion or pre conceived notions. 

Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an 
English test. 

PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly. 

Advani is asked to spell "ENGLAND" and he too passes. 

It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA". 

Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair 
and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent. 

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another 
chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that 
Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three). 

PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and 
passes. 

Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes. 

Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR….."Tough one. He fails 
again. Laloo is extremely unhappy. 

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now 
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history. 

Yama says 'OK', but this would be the last chance and that he would not 
take any more tests. 

PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence?". He replied "1947? and 
passed. 

Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence 
struggle?". 
He gets nervous. 

Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. 
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes. 

It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of 
each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle. 

Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL. 

Management Lesson: 
"IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE" 




 

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